vrijdag 1 juni 2018



Discovering that GB was living a double life, made me really angry and sort of sad. Angry because I was proofed wrong. I thought of this person in a way that was completely wrong. How could this person make me believe such a lie? I’d discovered that GB was in other relationships while telling me, I was the only one. Thinking back, I can only laugh at myself. How stupid could I be? But you know life here is very lonely, so people get attached faster and break morals easier because of their loneliness. I’d experienced the same, I’d given in to GB too fast because I was lonely and looking for a distraction. I made it clear to myself, I will always believe in love but for now, love or a relationship is not what I’m looking for. I will continue to work on myself, my behavior and attitude towards a romantic relationship to be at my best when the right one crosses my path. I still believe that the right one is out there waiting for me.

After all this, I was in the last part of the training (Cabin Service Training). Days were going by pretty quickly but it was still hard to adjust. The training was very practical with a lot of scenarios. I really enjoyed that part, because there wasn’t much to study. We were constantly laughing at people doing scenarios and received food (which we serve onboard) at the end of each day. My friend MD and I were always hungry, so we’d keep grabbing more food, even when others had not eaten yet. The trainer always asked who took more and we’d look at each other and continue to enjoy our second or even third meal. This is the reason why I get along with MD, we both enjoy being naughty and ‘breaking rules’ all the time.

There was also another reason why I did enjoy this part of the training. It was because of the trainer (BM). She was a kind of mother figure who inspired the group all the time and who was always there for people if they needed anything. Often, she shared personal motivating stories and I could just sit there in class for hours and listen to her. She had this way of speaking, which really made people pay full attention. On the other hand, she was also very rebellious, she did what she thought was right and the word ‘fear’ for anyone or anything was not in her dictionary. One day, during training I was fully focused and looking at her and I don’t know why, but I really felt this connection with her.

Finally, the training was over and done and I was officially a flight attendant. During the graduation (Wings day) I received an award for being the best in serving hot beverages. Proud moment. During graduation, the boys and girls come together in one room and can finally talk to each other. Stupid right? During training, you cannot talk and suddenly they promote talking to each other and to get along. Of course, all guys and even the girls were very excited to talk to each other, because two months being around the same gender makes u go crazy from time to time. It was very strange. Anytime a girl walked by, the guys got all excited, started laughing and making crazy faces at each other. Imagine being in prison for years…. Haha. We finished the wings day by cutting three cakes. During this moment I took a step back, looked around me and realized one of my dreams had really come true. I’d always wanted to do this and look at me all the way in the middle east as a flight attendant for a top-ranked company. Dreams do really come true and if you don’t give up, great things can be achieved. I was really proud of myself at that moment because I’d survived and pushed through the ‘90 minutes (being outside) rule’ for two months. After the graduation some rules changed, whenever we are free we can stay outside till 4:00 am and before a flight (pick up time) we must be inside 12 hours prior. These is referred to as minimum rest. Breaking the minimum rest, means termination right away. Explanation about breaking the rest will not be asked.

That same day we planned a graduation party with all the people from Wings day. It was like we were celebrating the fact that we were officially free people. It was a bittersweet feeling. A feeling of indeed being free but somehow not the freedom I was seeking. However, I was excited about the party and ready to go all out. The plan was to pre-drink at a hotel where we get 50% off on alcohol and then go to the nightclub to dance. At 8 pm I arrived at the party and immediately ordered a bottle of wine. I was enjoying it and talking to a lot of people. At some point, we even started taking shots at the bar. Inside the hotels and clubs is a completely different world, a western world. At some point, we arrived at the nightclub, which had some good music. I continued to order drinks and realized that I had to stop as I was getting really drunk. The thing with drinking is, you always convince yourself that you can take on more glass and I had to celebrate my freedom of course.

My friend and I decided to take another shot and at that point, we completely lost control over ourselves. Things started to move slowly around me, I couldn’t hear the music clearly and standing straight was very difficult. People started leaving the nightclub. While all this was going on, my vision was really fading away and I couldn’t really talk to anyone. I said to myself that I had to stop drinking and order water. Before that, I went to the restroom to pour some water on my face in order to focus again. As I poured water over my face, I looked at myself in the mirror and then took a look at my watch.......… 3.46AM......

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